"I Can't! My Baby Alligator Just Fall Down!" - And Other Such Stories from N

Sometimes, these things just hit you like 25 pounds of funny and you forget what you were reprimanding, asking, thinking about. Often, it's the things that come out of your own mouth, as I experienced when I worked at the preschool. Never thought you'd ask someone to please stop running around with markers in their mouth with no underpants on? Work with kids. And think again.

I still have some of the funniest things from my pre-school kids on file in my memory.

One little girl walked into school one morning and announced to everyone, her mother in tow, that, "My mommy was naked when she woke up this morning." Sorry mommy.

N and I have our fair share of moments around here too, many of them just completely out of the blue, and as its been awhile since I've done a post like this, I thought I'd catch up over here off the Twittersphere.

Enjoy.

Me: "Come on, you two!"
N: "I can't! My baby alligator just fell."
Me: "Oh no!"
N: "Yeah. Her name Pinnoch-nio."

N(looking up at the Christmas tree): "I need to grow bigger! (runs over to me) Rachel, I need to get bigger!"
Me: "You might if you sat down and ate your lunch!"
N: "I am eating!" Shows a mouthful of food.

N's mom: "Tell Rachel you'll see her later.
N: "Yeah."

N: "This is how you jump over Tipper (dog). We don't step on her. That make her mean."
Me: "Well, it probably hurts her too!"
N: "Yep. That make sense and stuff."

Me (as N and I are snugglin', and she's burying her face in my curls. She does this a lot as she likes to twirl them): "Does my hair smell good or something?"
N: "Your hair smokin'!"

N: "I princess just like you!"
I swear I don't bribe her to tell me that. Bless her heart, she came up with it all her own.

Me: "Morning, N!"
N: "Excuse me, Rachel!"
Me: "Excuse you?"
N: "Excuse me, I just poop again!"

N: "What's this?"
Me: "My zipper."
N: "Let's un-zip."
Me: "No, no, let's not."
N (pulls my dress up): "That your booty!"
Me: "Yep, that's my booty."

N: "I want this sticker for you." Sticks it on my forehead. Hello, Kitty.

Me: "What'd you do at school today?"
N: "Play."
Me: "What kind of things did you play."
N: "I not roll up my bottle."
Me: "Ah. Okay."

N: "Look, look!"
Me: "Oh you're in my boots! Quick let's take a pic to send mommy!"
N: "No. I too falling down."

N: "I not tall just like you, Rachel!"
Not nearly as complimentary as the princess comment.

N: "I not feeling well. You not feeling well?"
Me: "Yeah. Can we watch Cinderella pretty please?"
N: "Okay, nanny. We not feel well."

N: "I don't want to hit M on the head anymore."
Note: she hadn't been hitting him at all at the time, actually, was sitting and coloring quietly. Then volunteered this.

N: "Look at my Christmas!"
Talking about her family's Christmas tree(s).

N: "Why you have messy hair?"
Me: "It's curly. I have curly hair."
N: Why you have curly hair?"
Me: "I don't know, sweetie, I guess I just do!"
N: "No. You have messy hair."


Still yearning for more? Don't worry, N will keep saying things, and I will keep doing my best to record them, but to tide you over, see also my older posts, N Says and Grammar Lessons with N.

Continuing the Case for Naps

Last week in my post, What if Real Life was just like Preschool, I touched on the topic of continuing naps into adulthood. I think this a very good thing, especially given the number of hours we're all working these days, our filled-to-the-brim schedules, and our experience-everything attitudes. I'm a fan of experiencing everything and following all of my passions - including working - but what if there's just not enough hours in the day for that? The reality is, most of us aren't getting enough sleep these days, which was the topic of U.S. New's article, "Why Power Naps at Work are Finally Catching On."

Business are setting up nap rooms, using tents, and lofted beds, or are, at Worman Publishing in New York, and as seen in Nick Jr's ads, simply sleeping on mats under their desks:

 " 'You can close your eyes for 10 or 15 minutes and wake up feeling completely refreshed,' says Susan Bolotin, Workman's editor in chief, which has been nap-friendly since 2007. 'We've seen very positive effects...'We have one guy who works here who likes to nap, and you'll walk by and he'll be lying down on a mat like a kid in nursery school,' she says."

 Why are naps finally catching on? Moodiness has something to do with it, as does productivity, but there's also the issue of employees' health and well-being. More sleep means a more efficient immune system, which means fewer sick days, certainly. But take this statistic: "People who take daily 30-minute naps are 37 percent less likely to die of heart disease than those who don't nap, according to a study published in the Archives of Internal Medicine in 2007."

Short naps - meaning 20 to 30 minute refresher naps - are the key, however, to preventing slow-wake-ups and grogginess.

Whatever the length - I'm in favor!

For more nap reading, check out this 2008 post from Huffington Post on how napping boosts "sophisticated memory."

Nanny's Tired

It's Friday. It's raining out. N had an epic meltdown a few hours ago involving broccoli throwing, and I'm conserving all my energy for an event I'm attending (hint: it involves 30 varieties of gourmet chili for me to eat). And since brevity, my dears, is the soul of wit, I'm sharing but two things.

Please find above in all of its glory the song, "I Eat Doughnuts," by artist Sibley, which I tracked down after enjoying so much in Stella McCartney's ad for her Kids line, as posted earlier this week (Pour les Enfants).

Updates to come on what N has to say about the song, and "what it make her booty do."

And lastly, because Fridays are supposed to be en Francais, I thought I would share my favorite French term of endearment:

mon petit chou chou - "my little cabbage"

As in, "Awwww, je t'adore, mon petit chou chou!"

Je l'adore.

Voila! C'est bien. Bonne Vendredi.

Nannyisms - Lessons I've Learned Thus Far

So, this nanny thing. I’ve been doing it for almost three months now, I think. And, I’ve been bound to learn a thing or two by now, right? In the spirit of remembering said lessons, I think it's only appropriate that they be recorded.

So, for starters, the current bane of my existence is the spoiled milk smell that haunts my car, that NO MATTER WHAT I DO, I CAN NOT GET OUT.

At least after a time, I found the source: a stray sippy cup that had wandered under my seat, no doubt thrown there by small, exasperated hands (or dropped, sadly, and lost, like a smelly Velveteen Rabbit). By the time I found it, after the weekend (my car had been parked in a hotel garage for a wedding and largely un-driven), it’s contents had congealed and sprouted life.

The most unfortunate part of the poor sippy cup’s saga is that two hours of my day consist of driving in my car’s malodorous confines. That is two hours of spoilt milk smell. You think, perhaps I will get used to it, but no, you really don’t, and no amount of driving with the windows down has helped the situation.

At the moment (though it's now mid-week, still smelly, and looking grim) I can only hope, and pray, that time, and Febreze, will help ameliorate my stinky situation, but I have at the very least learned a very important lesson: make sure all sippy cups are present and accounted for upon exiting the vehicle.

That is Lesson #1 in my book. Here are just a few more, as I’ve learned so far:

2) Soap is icky. We don’t eat soap.

3) You never know when you’re going to land on an answer to “Why?”

“Drive, Rachel, drive!” I hear, daily, from my back seat. Or, “Hey Rachel, whatcha doin’?”
 “I can’t go right now, N,” I say, or, “Driving.”
“Why?” or, “You pick me up from school? Why?”
“Because that’s my job.”
“Why?”
“Because…I love you. Because…it’s my job to take care of you. Because...your mommy and daddy are at work. Because...your mommy asked me to. Because…that‘s how life works.”

“Because that’s how life goes,” or, “Because accidents happen” are two of my favorites, actually. I’m always amazed that they consistently work, too.

Of course, today, I got, “You pick me up, Rachel? Because that’s your job?” Ah! Progress!
“Yes,” I say.
“Doggone it!” N says. This is, of course, one of her new favorite things to say (we‘ve finally moved past “poop“), but to this…I could only laugh and say,
“Yes, that’s right, N, doggone it - you just said a mouthful, lady.”

“Why?”

4) Teaching patience requires great patience - enormous amounts of it, often - but is so worth it. You both learn it. At your own pace, of course.

5) And, to that effect, temper tantrums can be easy. No, seriously. Let them have them. N wants to scream and kick and shout? Fine by me. Let her get it out. There will be more of them and they will be bigger, and in more public places, if you give in. She knows that when she’s ready to talk, and calm down, she can get up out of time out and we can discuss that nap. She probably knows she’s really ready for it after all those tears and spent energy.

As one of the Big Lessons I've learned over the course of my life, and my nannying, is, There Will Always Be More Lessons, I'm sure this is to be continued. . .

Adventures in Nannying

Being a girl whose "Secret Single Behavior" is to paint my nails in bed, whilst wearing a tiara and watching "Breakfast at Tiffany's," I always figured I'd be the kind of mom who let her daughter wear princess dresses everywhere, and pink cowboy boots with said princess dresses, and my son, firefighter jackets or froggy rainboots everywhere or whatever their imaginations and senses of style choose. And the rule seems to apply to nannying too.

Well, sort of.

When I first started, I was so very aware that These Are Not My Kids. In other words, don't screw 'em up, and make sure they look nice in public. (Not that I plan on screwing my own kids up, of course. I don't know that it's more pressure when They're Not Your Kids, just a different kind).

Then there's differences in discipline styles, teaching styles, things you would let go that they wouldn't, and vice versa - all of this can make for a very uptight nanny!

No, but M & N's parents are very easy-going and love to say, they're not perfect parents, they don't do everything right (and neither do those judgy-wudgy moms at the park). And perhaps it just took some time to get used to the schedules and routines, and for N to test me to see what she could and couldn't get away with (we're still working hard on the "pleases," for example), but I finally remembered, they're kids, they should have fun. Yes, there are rules and you're there to teach them, oh, just about everything there is to life, but, tutus may be worn to the park with tennis shoes and strawberries blown on arms at lunches out. So what?

Last week, we had been asked to make birthday gifts for M & N's birthday that day, and as we were scrambling to make it out to the craft supply and get back and make gifts in between naps that day, I sent N off to put her shoes on while I strapped M in his carrier.

It's August in Kansas City, and that means 90+ degree weather, right? Now, I spent some time trying to convince N she would be cooler in flip-flops, but, in the end, I thought, what the heck. We'd mostly be in the car and the store and inside anyhow. Here's what she put on:

These were paired with black patent leather mary-janes, which were promptly taken off in the car, after jumping in a puddle in the parking lot. Oops!

She came tapping up to me and said, "I got my socks and shoes on, I ready to go!"

That is what I had asked her to do! And in the name of letting them do it themselves, sometimes, you have to go into the world with one reindeer sock, and the other, pulled up to your knee.




P.S. N started school today! I have bittersweet feelings about this. It will certainly be quieter, which is both good and bad. There will be more time for me to work on my projects (though I have a feeling M is working on dropping his morning nap soon), which is good. And, as my mom reminded me the other evening, I've never not liked quiet time (apparently, when my sister was still napping, but I no longer was, she used to send me into my room for quiet time and I very happily played quietly with my books and toys for lengthy periods of time).

M is getting to be very mobile and loves to explore, and we will most certainly get out and do lots, but he's still in the baby talk, and, well, I'm going to miss N! Sure, there'll be less toddler tantrums, and there will be more time for M, but, there will also be less N.

Adventures in Nannying - Farmer's Market Fun!

The thing about nannying, or working with kids in any capacity I suppose, is that one day, you think, yes, I’ve got it! I have the baby, M, on my lap and I’ve fixed his bottle with one hand and am now feeding him, while eating ice cream with the other hand, and having conversations with an adult and M's two-year-old sister, N, all at the same time! I’m so good.


And then the next, you’re having an argument - a battle - no, a discussion with said two-year-old about how much toilet paper is the appropriate amount and yes, we need to pull up our panties and if you can’t do it yourself, then I will have to do it for you. And I know you like to do everything for yourself. (Except when you don't).

And when that happens, perhaps it’s time to just get out of the house. I try to have activities planned for them to do at least a few days out of the week, and in this heat, it’s generally been go to the pool or someplace indoors with air conditioning.

But, last week, we went to the farmer’s market. And, we loved it.

Now, the Old Overland Park Farmer's Market is someplace I've been going since I was a kid with my own mother - who I very often have to thank for all the ideas I've had so far as a nanny. It's a great place for N, because each week there's different foods to learn about, different colors to name, lots of things to count - for example, she really loves holding the money and helping me count it out.

Last week, swing/ hot jazz band the Grand Marquis were there, and, after we picked up some blueberries and peaches, N's attention was definitely drawn to the music up at the clock tower. So we went up, got M out of his stroller, and we danced - even M! - played in the splash fountain, snacked on farm-fresh blueberries - it was a perfect, lazy, late-summer morning. We didn't want to leave.

This week, though N searched, there were no blueberries, but she ate an entire peach (!) and helped pick out sweet potatoes and green beans. I bought some fresh basil for myself and while she didn't like the taste, she loved smelling the bunch. Dan Bliss was there playing blues and folk, and I think we were just about the last of the children to leave.

But on days like that, I don't mind if we get home to nap a little late. Developing their interests in music is so important and N has really come out of her shell with people around there, even asking another little girl to dance with her this time. And M, who is 11 1/2 months and very mobile, is having a ball "dancing" - wiggling a lot - and clapping with the audience.

N with a fresh locally grown peach, and Dan Bliss in the background.