You're So Vain (more tales of singledom)

So week or so ago, I told a tale of how, while out one night, I was prevented from quenching my thirst and cornered into polite conversation for an extended period of time (S-s-single in the City). And I touched on how so often, being hit on - especially if done improperly - is more annoyance than flattery or interest.

Well this weekend, some guy did right by me. And he may not have even really been hitting on me, who knows, but I thought what he did was perfect.

I was out and about with a large group of friends and midway through the night, a young man came up to me to say one thing: "I just wanted to tell you that you are very beautiful." I smiled and thanked him and, there are few girls out there who don't like to hear that, especially when done well. Then he introduced himself, said it was a pleasure to meet me, repeated his compliment, and went back to sit down with his friends.

Perfect.

He's done the legwork and left it up to me, all without seeming like a jerk or a cad. And besides that, it could also be taken as simply an innocent compliment and left at that. Absolutely ideal.

On a side note, I thought I'd mention that I was wearing a fresh flower in my hair, as I've been doing a lot recently - my florist does happy hour flowers! - and my florist was just telling me recently how clever she thinks it is, how women don't wear fresh flowers enough, and how simple, sexy, and romantic she thinks it is. She said this too: no matter what you look like, adorn yourself with a flower, and all eyes will be on you. I gotta think now, well, she just may be right.

Makes Perfect Scents

Remember that scene in Legally Blonde, when Elle hands her resumé to her professor? And it's pink.  And scented. "Smells nice," Luke Wilson's character said.  And it certainly made a lasting impression.

So ever since then, from time to time, I've tried spraying perfume on my stationary, but it always seems to leave an unavoidable mark which really takes away from the whole impression.

Michael Kors to the rescue! His new perfume line, Very Hollywood - "Scene-stealing gardenia follows suit with a decadent performance of award-worthy glamour." - features a Limited-Edition Hollywood Signature Pen, with ink scented with Very Hollywood perfume.  Now this, I gotta try.  Pink and gold and pretty too (even kind of reminds you of Miss Woods too!), it'll fill the empty spot in my antique stationary box perfectly.  So gift me something soon, and you'll in turn received a lovely smelling thank-you from me.

I'm also yearning for the Very Hollywood Eau de Parfum Cocktail Ring - ideal since my signature scent always seem to go missing mid-evening.  Oh, clever designers - what won't they think of next?

www.michaelkors.com

Pen is $25, Ring, $40.

 

Fall's creeping nearer and nearer (low's gonna be 49 degrees this
weekend!) and while for me that means several wonderful things -
boots, fall jackets, and sweaters, football weather, pretty leaves,
scarves - it also means the approach of one big thing: Halloween.

Ever the fashionista, my costume's got to be stylish, one of a kind,
and requires months of excitement, buildup, and thought. So
naturally, this past weekend, my girls and I put our heads together
and thought up some doozies. My main event: a My Little Pony. An ode
to my childhood spent in the late 80's and early 90's, it's gonna be
totally rad (and glittery, I might add).

And totally fashionable, because, and this is probably not news for
anyone, 80's trends are still, yet again, all over for Fall 2009. In
honor of this often questionable decade in fashion, I've made up a
list of some trends I'm quite happy to see come back around now that
I'm old enough to wear them, and then the ones that just need to stay
dead.

Four 80's Trends for Updating

*Big Shoulders and Boyfriend Blazers
as couture as they may be, I'm not a fan of the high, flat, Designing
Women broad shoulder, but I love a slouchy boyfriend blazer with
larger than dainty-size shoulders. Pair with jeans, use to transition
a summer dress, or, for extra credit, pair with a long floaty ball
skirt or dress.

*Big Hair
As someone with thick, wavy hair, humidity makes it often impossible
for me to achieve stick straight styling, so I've never been a huge
fan. For a fun take on all that 80's hair this season, hair shouldn't
be teased or sprayed to oblivion, but well-conditioned and even
hot-rollered will do the trick, for truly tossable, Heather-worthy
hair. I even like the deep side part.

*Pretty Woman Over the Knee Boots
I've already devoted one post to my love for these, and I'll probably
do another, since my search for the perfect pair is on as we speak.
I'm choosing to update these by softening the look with a fresh color
- like those grey Rodarte ones - and wearing them with some floaty
feminine clothes; I'm not a girl to choose a head-to-toe rocker look.
And contrary to the flamboyant opinion of Coco Perez / Perez Hilton, I
think these can be carried off with class. They're not, however, for
the fashion faint of heart.

*Sequins
So, my Halloween costume will be well sequined and BeDazzled, but it
won't be the only thing. Sequined mini's, dresses, even shorts are
items I'd like to see, even in the daytime. And they can be an easy
modify, provided you can pull a needle and thread. I've partially
sequined a simply white t-shirt and I'm thinking of doing some basic
black shorts next. Another way to take shorts into evening, and also,
what former ballerina doesn't love her some sequins?

And some I don't want to see any kind of Thriller-type ressurection from

*Fanny packs
Do you really want to look like your mom did that one summer at Disney
World? And aren't stomach pooches unattractive? Why give yourself one,
without the benefit of indulging in high fat ice cream, or cheese?
This is largely where my beef with American Apparel lies, for trying
to bring these back.

*Scrunchies
Remember the Sex and the City episode when Carrie gets up on "her
sassy high horse" about scrunchies with Burger? She claims a New York
woman would never wear a scrunchie, he claims, one would. Guess who
was right.

Hair elastics are simpler, barrettes even prettier. No need to match
your scrunchie to your outfit, and no need for them to exist at all.
If you must decorate your hair, like me, from time to time, turn to
this season's beautiful barrettes and headbands, from pretty bows, to
bling, to studs, there's some awesome one's out there. And check out
InStyle's September Issue for some DIY tips.

*Acid Wash
Just say no. Pretty please.

*Leggings and tights as pants
See www.leggingsarenotpants.com and www.tightsarenotpants.com for more
details. Save 'em for cleaning house, lounging, and working out. It's
too cold in KC for leggings as pants in the fall and winter anyhow.

To Tattoo a Lady?

It's a phrase I heard throughout childhood, and even now, and one that also seems to be a constant theme of many an internal struggle.  "A lady never. . ."

A lady never raises her voice.  A lady never sits with her legs astray.  A lady never over-indulges.  A lady never applies her makeup in public (and especially not at the table, or while in mixed company).  A lady never, ever even considers a tattoo.

Lord, I must have really failed my mother because I've done all of these things (though with the exception of lip balm, I leave makeup application for the powder room).  Now, I do try not to do these things, but at times - especially among close friends - I think there's a limit to propriety.  But still, that inner voice, engraved on my mind, is really on me now because, believe it or not, I'm considering a tattoo.

Two, in fact.  The first I actually dreamt of; in memory of my nana, Lora Lee Eberhart, I would get a tiny script "L" on my left wrist, for the name we both share.  And in the dream, too, the "L" was accompanied by a tiny ribbon bow (so, super hard-core).

The second is an idea I've had recently to have "j'adore," simply, "I love," placed on the back of my neck.  But then, I've also considered changing that to "adorer," to love, but also, "j'écrit," "I write," or "écrire," "to write."  

Clearly, I shouldn't get a tattoo I haven't set my mind on, and I struggle with the necessity of something like it, too (though I'm sure that by being on the back of my neck, not only would I forget about it from time to time, but it would also rarely be seen).

But that little "L" for my grandmother? I can't think that I'd regret a small memory like that.  And truly, being a lady is all about carriage, confidence, and grace.  If society grande dames can tattoo eyeliner on their lids, why can't I have a ribbon on my wrist?

My grandmother's hands were soft and unwrinkled, perfectly manicured.
I used to run my curious fingers over her ornate ones, feeling the
jewels that decorated each, the smooth, glossy polish. My own small,
ragged hands had nails clipped short to serve the violin and piano, my
nail polish always chipped and uneven.

But my nana's manicure was always immaculate; when she came to visit,
I would sit with her and she would close her soft hands over mine.
She had always been a small, birdlike woman - birdlike in that her
eyes, arched by drawn-in brows, had a sharp awareness and, when we
were both younger, her body was so light and dainty she looked as
though she might just up and fly away at any given moment. A bird
without wings.

It was always her manicure that somehow stuck in my mind though; at some point, every
trip to my grandparents' house meant I'd patiently sit still for an
hour while my grandmother buffed her magic onto my hands.

But my patience never lasted and not half an hour later, would I have
smudged or chipped at least one of those dainty creations. Age hasn't
helped me either; I still can't wait for my polish to dry and I still
always have chipped and faded polish on my nails. And, yes, they're
still short - they just seem to have decided to stay that way. What
you know, I suppose . . .

So when pouring through the precious issue de septembre de Vogue the
other day, and I saw the new, trendy polishes for fall, I kind of
sighed a sad sigh in recognition of my manicure impediment.

Matte finishes, gunmetals, more dark colors? So pretty, so chic - but
alas, I will never be a lady with a perfect polish. I can keep white
pants stain-free (most of the time), I can wear silk around kids and
never get mussed, but I cannot keep my nails unfussed. This has
always seemed to me a failure as a lady (my nana had immaculate mani /
pedis, and surely Grace Kelly did), yet it is stubbornly just my
nature.

So I've become a fast fan of Sally Hansen Insta-Dry polish and Click,
Color & Go! nail pens, mostly because even professionally applied mani
/ pedi's don't last with me (and they tsk tsk my short nails), but
also because $20 for a Chanel polish is a waste with me, and I need
the insta-dry, insta-touch-up feature in a nail polish. The pen is
awesome, and especially for touch-ups (even the 10-Day no chip
polishes don't work on me!)

The foils, now, are something I've been wanting to give a try - I hear
they don't chip! Check them out at Minx (www.minxnails.com) for salons
that use these nifty things. And I love the metallic look.

For now though, get your use out of neons before August ends - falls
about the dark, dark, dark and the matte, matte, matte light - nudes
are in too, and even unpolished, yet well behaved, nails. Which is
good news for me.

S-s-single in the City

There's an old manual about how to approach and treat a lady in a
public watering hole. For example, you may have the bartender ask her
if she'd like to let you buy her a drink, and then, after she accepts,
you may approach her. But by all means, should you never make a lady
feel uncomfortable, which includes making her feel obligated to
converse with you.

A few weekends ago, I was out in downtown KC with some girlfriends and
finding myself parched, I sauntered up to the bar to order up another
lavender martini to quench that thirst.

A dry thirty minutes later, I was able to place my order. Here's why:

Upon finding an open space at the bar, I stood there, hand up and out,
waiting for the barmaid's attention. And the young man seated to my
right starts talking to me.

Now I'm not one of those rude girls who will refuse conversation. And
I sincerely enjoy meeting new and interesting people. But sometimes,
as this time, that gets me in trouble.

This guy was interesting, don't get me wrong. He was getting his PhD
in economics, was a teacher (wanted to be a professor) and apparently
loves the ballet - all attractive stuff to me.

But when finally during a lull, I leaned over the bar and waved
frantically, it only then occurred to him that despite the credit card
clue decorating my manicure, I had wandered up there, to the bar, for
a drink (he actually said, "oh, you came up here for a drink).

Pay attention, menfolkds: Yes, I was talking to you, yes I was
intrigued, but, my end goal at the bar almost always happens to be to
buy myself a drink. We don't always want to be talking to you, or if
we do, we don't always want to date you. It's like how when you're
talking to us, you don't always want to to take us out, sometimes, you
just want to get in our pants.

In case you're wondering, while all this was slightly irritating, this
guy's real turnoffs for me were his hipster handlebar moustache and
the tight ladies jeans he was sporting.

Alright, after that last post dogging American Apparel, it may seem
like I'm hating on the hipsters a lot, but, well I mean . . .

I blogged this winter about a guy I went out with once (once was
enough). He seemed kind, and normal enough. He was a musician, which
I have a thing for, and asked me out after hearing my karaoke
rendition of Ike and Tina's "Proud Mary" (now that's pretty
flattering!).

But then he reveals that he curls his eyelashes AND uses a fancier
hair straightener than I do? Now I'm sorry, I know some men these days
like to take care of themselves more than they used to, but I had an
instant flash of us standing at the bathroom mirror, doing our hair
and make-up together, and ladies and gents, that was that.

It may seem superficial, but these are not qualities I find attractive
in a man and chemistry's important! I don't want some unwashed bear,
either, but come on now, there's some middle ground to be found
somewhere.

Hipster Hounding - Seersucker at American Apparel?

Ah American Apparel. Useful, especially for basics, surprising, in
that despite my more classic taste I can usually find something not
too hipster for me, appalling, in that they're trying to bring back
the fanny pack and the scrunchie (please no, please no, please no).

But seersucker? This preppy southern staple used to be something I
could only find at Brooks Brothers or J.Crew here, or the Gap on
occasion. For the most part, it's a fabric that when mentioned to
friends who remain unexposed to Southern culture, is met with confused
stares and turned up noses.

I happen to love it, like I love Swiss dot, but I never thought I'd
see the day that seersucker shorts would be sold alongside gold lamé
suspender one-piece hot pants.

Of course, they had to put their hipster edge on it and the shorts are
unisex, like many other items in the store, but I don't know, I kinda
dig 'em. And AA is advertising them as inspired by Robert Kennedy, a classics icon, so I'm surprised they're so simplisticly chic. American Apparel does do basics chic time and time again. Yet then, AA somehow's found a way to add the Brooklyn
touch to seersucker bloomers too (I'm still not sure how, but by golly
it, they've done it:
http://store.americanapparel.net/rsase301.html?cid=178).

Does this mean the prepster and the hipster can now be friends?
There's so many color choices, how can you go wrong?
http://store.americanapparel.net/rsase301.html?cid=178