There's an old manual about how to approach and treat a lady in a
public watering hole. For example, you may have the bartender ask her
if she'd like to let you buy her a drink, and then, after she accepts,
you may approach her. But by all means, should you never make a lady
feel uncomfortable, which includes making her feel obligated to
converse with you.
A few weekends ago, I was out in downtown KC with some girlfriends and
finding myself parched, I sauntered up to the bar to order up another
lavender martini to quench that thirst.
A dry thirty minutes later, I was able to place my order. Here's why:
Upon finding an open space at the bar, I stood there, hand up and out,
waiting for the barmaid's attention. And the young man seated to my
right starts talking to me.
Now I'm not one of those rude girls who will refuse conversation. And
I sincerely enjoy meeting new and interesting people. But sometimes,
as this time, that gets me in trouble.
This guy was interesting, don't get me wrong. He was getting his PhD
in economics, was a teacher (wanted to be a professor) and apparently
loves the ballet - all attractive stuff to me.
But when finally during a lull, I leaned over the bar and waved
frantically, it only then occurred to him that despite the credit card
clue decorating my manicure, I had wandered up there, to the bar, for
a drink (he actually said, "oh, you came up here for a drink).
Pay attention, menfolkds: Yes, I was talking to you, yes I was
intrigued, but, my end goal at the bar almost always happens to be to
buy myself a drink. We don't always want to be talking to you, or if
we do, we don't always want to date you. It's like how when you're
talking to us, you don't always want to to take us out, sometimes, you
just want to get in our pants.
In case you're wondering, while all this was slightly irritating, this
guy's real turnoffs for me were his hipster handlebar moustache and
the tight ladies jeans he was sporting.
Alright, after that last post dogging American Apparel, it may seem
like I'm hating on the hipsters a lot, but, well I mean . . .
I blogged this winter about a guy I went out with once (once was
enough). He seemed kind, and normal enough. He was a musician, which
I have a thing for, and asked me out after hearing my karaoke
rendition of Ike and Tina's "Proud Mary" (now that's pretty
But then he reveals that he curls his eyelashes AND uses a fancier
hair straightener than I do? Now I'm sorry, I know some men these days
like to take care of themselves more than they used to, but I had an
instant flash of us standing at the bathroom mirror, doing our hair
and make-up together, and ladies and gents, that was that.
It may seem superficial, but these are not qualities I find attractive
in a man and chemistry's important! I don't want some unwashed bear,
either, but come on now, there's some middle ground to be found
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